I’ve been a ghost lately. Mostly on Tumblr, but I think a little in life as well. So here’s the thing:

Where is the line between who you were and who you’ve become, or where you were and where you’re going? The line between what defines you as your career or hobbies and what defines you as a person? Are they the same thing?

Are you only where you are now because of where you were before? Yes. Well, if you ask me, the answer is yes.

And what about “what” I am as opposed to “who” I am? It’s been a rough one for me lately. I was being interviewed today (that’s right, odd for starters since I’m usually the one conducting the whole thing…) and realized that, despite recent successful accomplishments over the past few weeks, I still don’t like talking about myself. I don’t take compliments well, I continually feel like there’s something worth fixing, worth improving. Which is great, because I realized that if there’s ever a time where I don’t have anything to fix, or I’ve figured out why exactly I’m successful, or even that I am successful for starters, then I’ve done something wrong.

So here’s where I’ve been: up and down, schooled in college and life lessons, manipulative and humane, grateful and uncaring. I’ve been in love and broken hearts, regretted and wished, danced and laughed and cried.

And what I am? I’m a story teller, I’m a dance teacher, I’m a friend and a secret keeper. A nighttime nurse and a food delivery service.

But who I am… I’m terrified of being alone, I hate the dark, I love beer, my husband and dim lights. My kids make me happy, Adele rules my world and Apple products are always on my wish list. I cry alone in the closet sometimes, drink entire bottles of wine by myself. The covers always need to be over my feet because someone once told me a story about lobsters eating them. I don’t like bugs and I put spiders under bowls until my husband can come kill them. I hate halogen lights, the smell of eggs cooking and girl drama. Friends are my family because I chose them, I’m used to a marriage over a webcam and I love every second I’ve lived… even the bad, horrible breathtaking moments.

My final answer, then, is there is no line. There is undivided space that makes me, me.